Bad Commie!

helping commies get to know knives

My favorite stabbings:
God, Mother Earth, W, Prayer, Poetry, Uptight Nervous Canadian Frostbacks, Debating,
Self Stabbing, Ann Coulter, The Ketchup Prince, Gay Marriage, Fantasy

Friday, August 13, 2004
 
Osama bin Texian pawns this site !

I don't know why those kids always say a site is "pawned" when they figure out how to post on it, but as long as I'm "hacking" I might as well talk the jive !

I always thought "pawned" was what you did when you had to take your TV to Travis at the pawn shop and get a little cash to make emergency payments, like a few boxes of shells for tax day. You know, like the personal version of our collective financial policy.

Anyway, this is the first time I've ever hacked ! I was forced to do it because the awesome commie-fightin' potential of badcommie is being wasted. Check out how I hacked it: I remembered that Badcommie had really bad security, because he once tried to make me "guest blogger". (ObT was too lazy to ever blog anything). After about 2 days, I brute forced my way through the name space and remembered my blogger username. That was hard work. Then I had to go to the page where it emails you your password if you forgot it. About the 3d browser I tried worked with that page (like any Freedom Fighter, ObT only uses Free Software, but blogger.com has suspiciously "pink" tendencies). Then I had to check about 20 email accounts to figure out which one I used. I had forgotten the password to that mail account, so I had to go it's page to email the password to yet another account. Eventually, success was mine, and Bad Commie was TOTALLY PAWNED !!! WHOOOT!!

This is the hardest thing ObT has ever done with a computer. In ObT's opinion, computers will be much easier to use when this internet fad finally blows over.

The reason for this pawnage is that Bad Commie had to be sent to be re-educated at a camp run by the John Birch Society, because the commies got behind his eyballs and brainwashed him that the current foreign occupiers, President W and his friends, are not communist. This is because unbeknownst to his comrades in his resistence cell, Bad Commie had gradually been turned into an Organization Man -- while attempting to inflitrate a large corporation, the corporation inflitrated him. Join us all in prayer for a quick recovery.

The purpose of my pawnage will be to lead Bad Commie through my own re-education curiculum, which is the best anti-commie re-education curiculum ever, and I am making it up as I type this.

Lesson 1: What is Capitalism (hint, it's not the same as economic activity, or simply money moving from one person to another)

Lesson 2: Who are the commies ? What do they want and where do they come from ? Why did they kill all the Kulaks ?

Lesson 3: Who are the Capitalists and Kulaks ? Why should you try to be one ?

Lesson 4: Are any non-commies running office this fall ? How should I vote ? Has there ever been a non-commie president ?

Lesson 5: Hippies -- are they smelly commies, by-products of Freedom, or just smelly ?

Lesson 5: How many guns should I buy ?

Lesson 6: Are state run health care systems communist, or just socialist ?

Lesson 7: Is free trade with communist countries a good idea ?

I will be posting these lessons as I write them, and as my computer skills allow me to evade my laptop's attempts to censor me. Don't get your hopes up, because this laptop is getting smarter and more commie all the time, and if I have to shoot it like the last one I may be off the internet for several months.

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