helping commies get to know knives
Saturday, November 22, 2003
As Ben, the uptight nervous intellectual republican and former Canadian frostback, turned the corner around the thorn bushes, he heard the sounds of clicking and grinding.
He was immediately struck with a deep sense of foreboding. It was as if he had accidentally made a reference to Ted Kennedy as a fat murdering drunk at the monthly communist party town meeting, and had only now realized it that the weekly train for Siberia left today.
Suddenly, without so much as a manifesto, a vicious hungry communist leaped out from behind a pack of wild yapping french cheese eating poodles and masticated Ben's arm with his sharpened metal teeth.
Ben shrieked in girlish fear and tried to pull his arm out of the commie's mouth with all his might. However, each tooth was a miniature sharpened statue of Stalin, cleverly designed in such a way as to make it impossible to be released from Stalin's deadly hungry metal embrace. With a deep growl, and with the heavy weight of enormous planned economy style satisfaction, the commie bit down harder and harder and the little tooth Stalins completely removed Ben's arm.
Now, Ben was armless, second amendment or not.
The commie, holding Ben's drool covered arm in his mouth, quickly crunched it in two and started sucking out the sweet capitalist marrow as Ben watched on in helpless rage and shock. After sucking on the marrow for about 30 seconds, the commie turned his gaze back upon Ben and started grinding and clicking his vicious hungry commie teeth. Ben blinked, blood dripping, down the remains of his arm, which was as mangled as the US constitution after 200 years of liberal reinterpretation. Some dim profit motive flickered to life within Ben's brain and he turned to run. But the commie was quicker! With a great leap forward, the commie sank his vicious teeth straight into Ben's capitalist ass! Ben fell forward and his head cracked against the poorly maintained pavement like the fragile fabric of society under the weight of communist hypocrisy.
Ben was dead, yet another victim of communism and the poor educational system which failed to teach proper communist killing techniques. Ben had a fatal encounter with hungry commie metal teeth. Ben was erased from history.
My dear readers. This is what happens when you don't stab commies.
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