helping commies get to know knives
My favorite stabbings:
God, Mother Earth, W, Prayer, Poetry, Uptight Nervous Canadian Frostbacks, Debating,
Self Stabbing, Ann Coulter, The Ketchup Prince, Gay Marriage, Fantasy
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
I notice that the eurotrash are protesting in record numbers to get back their hero Sadaam Hussein. Actually, it mainly seems to be the democrats that are playing this up, because they have a lot at stake in the wonderful activity of making foreigners hate W. The foreign constituency is very important to them getting elected. Evidently, a large number of foreigners vote for democrats in the US election.
I'm not bitter, however. I'm actually going to do something about it.
This is Psalm 23:
The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want;
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil; for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
I've gotten together with God, and we're modernizing this thing:
The LORD is my guide,
my knife shall not waver;
He makes me lie still in green camouflage waiting for commies.
He turns the faucet on, so the commies are distracted and can't hear me;
He sharpens my knife when it is dull.
He stabs 10,000 commies as an example so I know what to do for him.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of democrats,
I fear no liberal; for my knife is very very big;
thy knife and thy other knife, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of commies;
thou anointest my head with camouflage paint, my knife shop gives me unlimited credit.
Surely dead commies and very sharp knives shall surround me all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD, on top of a pile of stabbed commies, for ever.
That's much better. I shall say it every day.
Here is another one that needs updating:
A Prayer Of Victory Over Death
Precious Lord Jesus, Wonderful Holy Spirit, Awesome God,
I love you, Lord Jesus.
Let the final battle of my life be won not by the forces of nature that most assuredly want my body to fail, but may this battle be won by you as I grasp your hand at these last moments.
As I approach the end of this earthly journey, show me the door of your heaven full of so much light, promise, and hope realized.
In your name, and by your power, I proclaim victory over the sting that now seeks to take me down.
In your name, and by your power, I reach out to you in victory over forces of nature that shall take away my earthly life.
Although I can see the dark curtain about to fall down upon me, I can see the full burst of your glory that makes the curtain fade away and fall apart.
As I hear the rumblings of the dark powers that have come to destroy me, in your name, I reach out to you, and in victory we shall travel together across that momentary divide to heaven.
According to your will, when it seems all is lost, show me all is found.
Show me the victory over death.
Touch me so I may carry your light to that final minute.
According to your will, may I be immersed in your light and love at this hour so I shall leave behind me a testimony of faith in you and a testimony of your power over the grave.
All these things I humbly pray in the name of my most Blessed Lord Jesus Christ, my Mighty God, and my Ever-present Holy Spirit upon whom I can rely.
Amen
The approved version:
Prayer Of Victory Over the Big Commie Stronghold in Hell
Precious Lord Baby Jesus, Wonderful Holy Vodka Dispenser, Awesome Knifemaker,
I love you, Lord Jesus.
Let the final battle of my life be won, not by the forces of Socialism that most assuredly want my body to fail, but may this battle be won by the heat of my rage as I grasp your blessed knife at these last moments.
As I approach the end of this earthly journey, show me the door of your heaven full of so much light, promise, and hope realized.
In your name, and by your power, I proclaim victory over the sting operation that now seeks to take me to commie central.
In your name, and by your power, I reach out to you in victory over forces of pure socialist evil that shall take away my earthly knife.
Although I can see the dark wave of millions of commies about to overrun me, I can see the full burst of your holy nuclear weapons that makes the curtain fade away and fall apart, as is the fate of all commies.
As I hear the rumblings of the dark powers that have come to destroy me, in your name, I reach out to you, and in victory we shall travel together across that momentary divide to heaven.
According to your will, when it seems all is lost, show me all is found.
Show me the victory over taxes.
Arm me so I may carry your knife to that final minute.
According to your will, may I be immersed in your light and love at this hour so I shall leave behind me piles and piles of dead commies and a testimony of your power over those that seek to enslave others.
All these things I humbly pray in the name of my most Blessed Lord Baby Jesus Christ, my Mighty Capitalist God, and my Ever-present Holy Spirit Knife upon whom I can rely.
Amen
My prayers always get answered, but in case you are having trouble getting a satisfactory response to your prayers, here is the reason why God is not answering.
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