Recently I was thinking if I could afford a 700,000 unabomber shack in MA on my 100,000 republic of cambridge ruble salary. Thats a 7x multiple of my salary - which is steal-fordable according to proper communist theft accounting standards as seen here.

Guess what, fellow stabees! I just remembered my chinese slaves! Now, you may think that slavery is bad. That would be true, if I wasn't a democrat or if I didn't write all the laws or I didn't own all the judges and legislators. In any case, its obviously not an issue since I live in MA and can't be racist or slavist, even though I am a religious zealot puritan who hates religious zealots because they are religious. In any case, chinese slaves make my big eye american dream come true! Here's how:

First some history - this time, of course, I was much smarter than the last time I whipped slaves: Instead of getting the local vicious head darkies to round up the big and strong mendicant darkies and ship them off overseas to me where they can't cause no more trouble for the local African kings, I decided to let the new darkies (I call them sritty pees for obvious reasons - they have slits for eyes and are pee colored and confuse r's and l's - I mean l's and r's) stay right where they are and enslave themselves. And no more making the big and healthy sritty pees the slaves. We only want the spineless weakling detail oriented ones who love to submit to anyone that talks loud. Its really quite easy since they've been oppressing themselves for 2000 years and are not about to stop now, just like russians can't stop being russian. We just need to change where the output of the oppression goes - into the MLM scheme called the US economy. Anyway, I like to give my 20 personal chinese slaves a good whipping every time I log on to the intelnet with my cup of coffee. I take my whip and go to a sritty pee web site and whip my monitor so they work faster. Its really win win all around. I love to whip and they love a good whipping. And that's how I can afford my house.

Also, I am waiting for my slavery reparation check from the local republic of cambridge darkies since they were clearly descended from the average african evil-doer enslaver king while the white people were clearly not. But that's another subject. That check will be for my second house.

Anyway, my sritty pee 20 personal slaves are doing a good job sending me any goods I want for cheaper than the local economy can produce. This, along with the random patchouli oil showers of cash (not the filthy capitalist gasoline oil you find in Texas), allows me to afford my 700,000 ruble house. A normal person would not have showers of cash or 20 personal slaves like me but I'm special - I'm a communist democrat. Without the showers of cash and the low priced goods I'd have to pay some filthy redneck republi-communist worker all my money. But instead I just whip my sritty pee slave every day and stretch my sandals out from one wall to the other of my unabomber shack while waving my communist stick wildly from side to side.

Now I've been listening to the MLM gurus (they call themselves economists) who keep on wondering how a worker who makes 10,000 rubles a month can afford a house that costs more than that per month. The answer is simple sritty-nomics and theft-vings. Sritty-nomics allow me to spend my income on shack instead of filthy local republican workers. Theft-vings alow me to work for a startup, or rob a bank or rob some random relatives or do some other simple communist economic transaction and pay for shack.

And there you have it! Una-shack for una-commie!
-posted by Bad Commie @ 6:56 AM (0) comments