helping commies get to know knives
Sunday, October 19, 2003
I'm still trying to find some good commie stabbin knives, in case some liberals/democrats/socialists/fascists write something else on the internet. I didn't know they were allowed to post that kind of stuff. Its shocking.
It's come down to a choice between this capitalist tool, this vicious commie stabber, or this ideology correction device. Some of you may wonder why I don't need bigger tools to do the job - like this one. Well I don't want anyone to talk like that, so I'm just going to get all 4.
Someone sent me this great review of this game called Rush'n Attack. (Rush'n - Russian - heh). Here is what the review says:
See, Commie soldiers in this game have rifles for which to blow you away with. However, they tend not to fire at you. Instead, running right into you is the best method of eliminating the U.S. budinski! Commie soldiers run at a blazing 3mm per hour, which has enough centrifical force to blow away a piece of paper, a speck of dirt, and a U.S. soldier made out of blue pixels. You, on the other hand, have a knife for this mission. Instead of stabbing Commies with the knife, you just stick the knife out in front of you and hope a Commie runs into it. Commies, having the I.Q. of a donut, only run one direction: left. Get it? Left? Communists? Liberals? Ha ha ha! Okay, it wasn't that funny. What do you expect? I ain't "politically correct" or anything.
When you reach the end of a level, you fight a boss. At least, that's what's supposed to happen. In this game, you fight a billion Commies that run right into you in the first level. Then you probably do other things, but who cares? You know the U.S. is going to win! After all, the Berlin Wall fell! And think about it! Ronald Reagan + United States of America = Fall of Communism! It's a simple equation that most conservatives know and are proud of! All that's left is to enter the super-secret level, where you fight past a dozen Californians that love Commies for their ideals, despite the fact that Stalin killed 20 million of his own people. Why'd he do it? Because he's a nut! On any account, fight them off, and you'll go head to head against the evil "Jane Fonda Robot" which tries to throw you towards a POW camp in Vietnam, where you will be tortured! To win, use your Second Amendment Attack you received from Charleton Heston! Victory in the USA!
So remember readers, never stand up for worker's rights! Only the lefts! Oh wait. That came out wrong. Hmmmm. I may have to stab some commies to resolve this contradiction.
I'm all worked up on account of reading Bill O'Reillys new book "Its Commie Stabbin Time", no wait, I just looked at the cover, it's called "Who's Looking Out for You?".Trust me, its not the commies or their alien overlords. Seriously, its very good. I have a much clearer and more focused outlook after reading it. I think my commie stabbin accuracy will go up to 5 nines, from 4 nines.
Comments: Post a Comment