I have a question for you, readers. Is money the same thing as speech? Is money "free" speech? Is money free? Are cars free? Are houses free? Is air free? Is stealing free?
Here in the United Soviet Socialist Republic of America (best place on earth!), Money Is King. Therefore, if money wants to rape women, run for president as a democrat, or beat its slaves - we let money do whatever the hell kingly thing it wants to do. This great "American" idea we have of worshipping money leads to the full realization of the ideas of Bertrand Russell

The British philosopher Bertrand Russell once quipped that philosophy was the art of starting from premises too trivial for anyone to contest and arriving at conclusions too outlandish for anyone to accept. Had he lived to see the Supreme Court's recent ruling upholding core provisions of the Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act, he might have said something similar about jurisprudence, if not for the fact that so many people seem perfectly eager to accept the outlandish conclusions.
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I therefore propose a solution that would, I hope, make Bertrand Russell proud. We must close the First Amendment loophole once and for all, and recognize that constitutional protection of "free expression" should be reserved for copies of Hustler, as the Founders intended, not extended to such dangerous frivolities as the expression of political views.

I would have it no other way. Now shut up, readers. Oh, that's right, I'm the one talking! Good.

Speaking of money, is it our only hope that the honest French decide to buy Enron and WorldCom also ? Because if the only criminals that get punished are French, I may have to support giving the French those reconstruction contracts after all. Oh, but its W that made the French pay up. Heh. W is a good bill collector. Those frenchie CEOs must have been peeing in their pants. But, you know, he only takes the "compassionate conservative" or "moral" cases.

But democrats aren't any better. The only kind of bill collecting they do is to collect the "still somewhat voluntary" contributions the "misguided voter" makes for their presidential campaigns. BTW, if democrats are so democratic why is their average contribution size so much larger than that of republicans? I.E. why do republicans have a lot of poor people contributing just a little money? You don't see this absolute proof of democratic elitism show up on page 1 of the NYT, do you?. Just like you don't see squat about Bush being pro-environment, IRAQIs hating dictators, or the peace loving Germans raping and killing for the sake of Anti-Americanism and other similar forms of peace, common good, and spirituality. I bet you the German Anti-America protestors have this for their headquarters.

P.S. U.S.S.R.A. still has plenty of slavery. It's just called different names now. Whatever you do, don't show a plantation owner that you are good at picking cotton. Oops, I mean "private for profit" "prison" owner, not plantation owner. How could I possibly have gotten confused? Oh that's right, because, in either case, innocent niggers are being whipped and chained by the white man for economic gain (economic gain is crack allowance money for the sons and daughters of rich Hollywood movie stars).

-posted by Bad Commie @ 9:49 AM