Bad Commie!

helping commies get to know knives

My favorite stabbings:
God, Mother Earth, W, Prayer, Poetry, Uptight Nervous Canadian Frostbacks, Debating,
Self Stabbing, Ann Coulter, The Ketchup Prince, Gay Marriage, Fantasy

Thursday, December 25, 2003
It's Christmas time, and that means extra stabbing for all commies!

I wonder what is the "utility" of the gift of stabbing I plan to give to the commies? Does my gift give them wealth? Did I have to labor a long time to provide this gift?

Let us ponder the question of gift giving. Economists say:

Gift giving is irrational - unless, perhaps, you are hedging your bets, says Ross Gittins.

It's a little-known fact that the first economic rationalist was Ebenezer Scrooge. That's because economists simply can't understand why people would do something as stupid as giving presents at Christmas.

Conventional economics teaches that gift giving is irrational. The satisfaction or "utility" a person derives from consumption is determined by their personal preferences. But no one understands your preferences as well as you do.

So when I give up $50 worth of utility to buy a present for you, the chances are high that you'll value it at less than $50. If so, there's been a mutual loss of utility. The transaction has been inefficient and "welfare reducing", thus making it irrational. As an economist would put it, "unless a gift that costs the giver p dollars exactly matches the way in which the recipient would have spent the p dollars, the gift is suboptimal".

Dear readers! This is pure unadulterated slander! I want you to know that all my large and sharp knives are of the highest quality! No knife is "suboptimal", the nerve of the econocommies to even suggest such a thing! My gift of stabbing to the commies is optimal - perfection itself.

Suboptimal! Who would be so twisted as to suggest that any commie stabbing I perform is suboptimal?! The value of every stabbing I provide is infinite!

This is almost as ridiculous as suggesting that Christmas is really the birthday of "pagan 'gods' born on Dec. 25th are: Hercules, the son of Zeus (Greeks) Bacchus, god of wind, (Romans),Adenis god of Greeks Freyr the Greek-Roman god."

Or that Christmas is a holiday invented by German immigrants who liked to tree worship.

Or as ridiculous as this explanation of Russian Christmas:

Many other religious and folk traditions were suppressed during the communist era. Before the revolution, a figure called Babouschka would bring gifts for the children. Like Italy's La Befana, the story is that Babouschka failed to give food and shelter to the three wise men during their journey to visit the Christ Child. According to tradition, she still roams the countryside searching for the Christ Child and visiting the homes of children during the Christmas season. Babouschka never completely disappeared, and now in the post-communist era, has returned openly. Christmas trees were also banned by the Communist regime and were replaced by "New Year's" trees.

Completely ridiculous. I know that the proper purpose of Christmas is to stab commies, just like the purpose of all holidays.

Speaking of slander, the fat German millionaire hypocrite commie Michael Moore has been asking where his country is. Evidently he can't find it on the map. Anyway, I would be happy to show him were he is on any map, circle the location, write commie next to it, and then stab him.

Evidently, FrontPage Magazine thinks he is Germany:

Americans vote Republican, contrary to their own self-interest, writes Moore, because wealthy capitalist oil men have hypnotized them with an illegitimate war in Iraq, fear of terrorists, and a few crumbs from a tax cut (given mostly to the wealthy) that feeds the American Horatio Alger myth that we all can succeed.

"Horatio Alger Must Die," writes Moore. Americans should stop trying to become rich. Instead they should desert the War on Terror and enlist in the Class War. Our best chance for a halfway pleasant life, he argues, is to tax all wealth away from the rich and redistribute it to ourselves in the form of welfare, government healthcare and other benefits.
The good news for Michael Moore is that he can now answer his own question: "Dude, Where's My Country?" Weeks ago he toured five cities and was greeted everywhere with huge standing-room-only crowds of young people who cheered wildly at his every word as if he were a rock star or movie idol.

"We are socialists," a similar idol who shares Moore's politics told just such a cheering crowd in one of these cities. "We are enemies of today's capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human being according to wealth and property and we are all determined to destroy this system under all conditions."

Michael Moore's country, where these adoring crowds cheered him wildly last month, was Germany.

It doubtless helped that Moore dressed in a brown jacket reminiscent of the brown garb of that other idol who like Moore swayed and hypnotized crowds of America-hating Leftist young people.

"I thought it was almost like a kind of cult," said truck driver Max Klemmt after watching Moore spew his anti-American venom in Berlin. "He says somebody is crap and everyone cheers."
The other idol and cult leader whose socialist politics closely parallel Moore's was the head of the Nazionalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiter Partei, the National Socialist German Worker's Party usually referred to in its abbreviated form, Nazi. The Moore-like attack on capitalism was made by Adolf Hitler in a speech on May 1, 1927. To read other such Hitler quotes and learn more about Hitler's Leftist socialist politics, click here.

Germany today has a population of about 84 million, only 28 percent that of the United States. Michael Moore's previous best-seller, Stupid White Men, came out with a total of only a million copies in the United States, but in Germany with scarcely a quarter of our population the same book sold 1.2 million copies. His new book, published with a German title that translates "Full Cover, Mr. Bush," reported the November 17 Wall Street Journal, had a huge initial print run in Germany of 200,000 copies, with more to come.

(In Germany, as the September 29th Wall Street Journal reported, every kind of crackpot anti-American conspiracy book ? like the Andreas von Bulow tome alleging, Howard-Deanlike, that President Bush was somehow involved in or had foreknowledge of 9-11 ? nowadays sells like hotcakes.)

So, Michael, you need never again ask "Dude, Where's My Country?"

You found it, amid the sweaty torchlight parades, beer halls, swastikas, brown shirt socialists, goose-steppers and hypnotized screaming crowds of freedom-hating, America-hating former East Germans too young and uneducated to remember the nightmare into which the last socialist demagogue like yourself led their blinkered culture. Welcome to the cabaret, Michael Moore. Welcome home to your true country.

Too bad they impose confiscatory taxes on rich folks like you. But what's sauce for the goose-stepper is sauce for the gander. This is what you want for all of us.

Heh. Now that's what you call a optimal stabbing. Pretty easy though. Moore's so fat from eating capitalist steak that he can't even move. And I mean that literally.

Speaking of commies with multiple stab wounds, the commie Slate Magazine has tried to do a poor Allah imitation and attempt to get the Dean Commie to fight in the right direction:

Dean's jihad is even crazier than Gore's. It's almost completely undisciplined. Three weeks ago on a national radio show, Dean brought up the "interesting theory" that Bush had been warned beforehand about 9/11. Last week, Dean defended that remark by telling reporters, "I acknowledged that I did not believe the theory I was putting out." When the Washington Post exposed several Dean comments that didn't fit the facts, Dean scoffed that voters could believe him "or they can believe the Washington Post." No word yet on whether voters must choose between believing Dean and believing the Los Angeles Times, which issued a similar analysis of Dean's whoppers last Thursday.

Here's a hint, Slate Commies. If you want to tell Dean how to run his jihad, get Jacque Chiraq to issue a fatwa.

Or maybe Dean can adopt the same strategy against Bush that he wanted us to adopt against Saddam:

First we'll coax Saddam out of his bunker with a trail of delicious candy. Then, once his belly is full and he's all sleepy and happy, we'll calmly explain that we don't approve of what he's been doing and it's not very nice and we wish he'd stop. And he'll be like, "Whoa, I never thought of it that way. You guys are my friends! I like you!" And then everybody will hug and cry, and then get a little embarrassed about crying, and then make some jokes to cover up being embarrassed. And then a beautiful rainbow will appear, and a shy unicorn will walk down it, and Saddam will ride it to the North Pole, and he'll spend the rest of his life helping Santa make wonderful toys for all the good little girls and boys, and there'll be hot chocolate, and, and, and nobody will ever ever die again for any reason ever. -- Jim Treacher

In happier news, The Colonel gets some advice from RWN on how to torture himself.
And Bush is having way too much fun as president again:
Constant 'Joke' Calls From White House Putting Further Strain On Relations Between US And UN

Merry Christmas, and I hope you like my present, commies!

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