Osama bin Texan recently attended a meeting of his local communist cell on the subject of how the dieblod voting machines are rigged and how to hack into them. Unfortunately, things did not go as planned. This is his story:

I went to the meeting, and the regular room was taken, because the largest conference room was filled with airline pilots at an FAA anti-terrorism class.

So, our communist cell had to move down the hall and later, the speaker couldn't find it and went home.

I went by the FAA thing -- it was a like a defensive driving class. The speaker was putting up a slide that said "Hi, I'm your FAA Examiner and I'm here to help you" and all the pilots were chuckling and drinking like the Organization Men that they are.
The following slides were "Be aware of your surroundings" and other "Hide under your desk from bad people" platitudes.

Right there and then, I knew, I knew that class probably took up $100,000 of my tax money, and that we got a bigger deficit, no more safety, just BS, because the real terrorists were in congress. I knew that Homeland "Security" had stolen my money. I could feel my wallet getting lighter and lighter and the pilots getting happier and happier drinking their tax money funded drinks.

Later on when I got home, I thought that there were indeed poor children that would die, because congress had stolen money from the parents of the innocent children. Money that those parents needed to buy their kids medicine. This was not a victimless crime.

Also, later on at home I thought that I could have made some signs and walked back into the room. Maybe signs like:

"If stealing from the American people to buy drinks for bullshitting pilots makes the American people more secure, then, OSAMA WAS RIGHT"

"Stealing the taxpayers money does not give the taxpayers a sense of security"

"Next time the Government raises pilot fees, crash a plane into Congress"
and
"Bombing assholes who meet to bullshit and steal taxpayer money is not a crime"

But I was an Organization Man at heart, and the commies won twice that day. The first time when the bureaucrats stole the money, and the second time when I chose to do nothing.



Sigh. True Sad Story.


More adventures on the internet:

Bad Commie Adventures:

Here is a Bad Commie post in the comment thread about a story that says "republicans are mad at bush for not being conservative"

First, I agree with the Marine: Ron Paul is the only honest man in congress.

Second, The fact that Dean is frothing at the mouth mad makes him uniquely qualified to be president. Just think about it - he says he loves the French - but what happens when he goes over to talk to them and they pee on him and say "Mon Dieu! What smells like cow!" ? Bye Bye France, that's what. Big hole from nuclear explosion.

Third, you all are still a bunch of cheerleading retarded pussies. W is quite a serviceable president who does exactly the right amount of foreigner killing. Like XXX says, blaming W for the people electing thieves to pass laws is a stupid ass excuse. Furthermore, there is no particular reason why W should even attempt to veto legislation passed by republican looters. It's not W's job to pass laws. If the REPUBLICAN congress wants to makes the US a communist hellhole, that is their right and responsibility. W ain't a legislator, he's an ass kicker.

Furthermore, it IS the democrats that are fiscal conservatives. They don't have the GALL to LIE to your face and say they are not going to steal your money and then STEAL IT. At least the democrats tell you what you are GETTING for your money. The hypocritical republican fascists communists JUST LIE and STEAL.

Saying the republicans "didn't mean to steal" and they are "not really republicans, but merely RINOs" is PURE idiotarianism - the thing that this web site is supposedly against.

In short, the people to blame for the looting by the republican congress are the readers of sites like this one, WHO ELECTED THE LOOTERS. How much of a moron do you have to be not to see that the hand stealing from your pocket belongs to republican legislators?
...[and later on]
Evil Otto,

Look down close to your pocket - see that big fat greasy hand reaching in ? - watch it move closer and closer to your dollar bill that you earned - now watch it grab the dollar bill - now watch the hand leave with the dollar bill - now watch the fat REPUBLICAN senator that you VOTED for walk away with the dollar bill. Now look at the talking point sign on the back of the republican saying "THEM DEMOCRATS DOG GONE STOLE YOUR MONEY BECAUSE THOSE BASTARDS WANTED TO GIVE YOU HEALTH CARE AND SOCIALISM IS BAD".

Now watch the democratic senator standing by the side of the road looking very sad because he GOT TO DO NO STEALING WHATSOEVER. That poor guy. He only wanted to steal half the money the fact republican porker was going to steal, and he was going to give you healthcare too.

I know who the commies are. Its the guys that ACTUALLY STOLE my money. The REPUBLICANS.

Posted by: Bad Commie on January 31, 2004 09:15 AM

Update: Eventually the "Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler", as he calls himself, couldn't handle the truth that he was everything he pretended to be against, and decided to ban me from further comments.

This is the post that I did that broke the camel's back, so to speak:

Here is a quote from the front of this blog. Misha says:

I'd also like to run into a few of the pigs still sympathetic towards the subhuman filth inhabiting the terrortories.
But most of all, I'd absolutely LOVE to rip their throats out with my own teeth and piss in the bloody, gaping hole.

Does he sound sane to you? He just said he would murder someone in exactly the same way as a serial killer, or in exactly the same way Hitler murdered the Jews. And do you know why Misha would do this? It's because he is a subhuman nazi, that's why.
Note that Misha did not qualify his statement in any way. Even a *generous* reading of what he said would still leave his statement applicable to all people living in the territories who are not "jews", whatever that means to Misha. Basically, the serial killer Misha will kill you if you happen to live on some piece of land and you are not a "jew". Note that no Israeli supports this kind of position.

He is, of-course, doing this for religious reasons - because he worships the acts of jews religiously. I am not against jews. But he's a religious jew-loving nazi with serial killer impulses. He's a hard core republican, who acts like a fascist, who worships that acts of jews, who supports Hitler like behavior and who wants his followers to salute him with the same unthinking idiocy that Hitler's followers saluted Hitler.

Just like you people can't see that the hand in your pocket is attached to a republican, so are you also serial killer mass murderers on behalf of jews.

You wouldn't know morality if it bit you in the ass.

Posted by: Banned Bad Commie on January 31, 2004 04:28 PM

When I posted that again, using an anonymizing proxy, he started deleting his own comments, and then mine, and then he replaced the above post with posts like these two below where he felt the needs to put words in my mouth to say that I support Hitler. I don't think he needed to do that - his followers were pretty extreme anyway. Note, this is what he wants the readers of his blog to think that I said.

You're pretty despicable Misha, licking the hand of the Jew.

We national socialists will beat the shit out of you eventually, and then we'll re-open the camps and finish the job that our great leader, Adolf Hitler, started.

and another replacement:

Yes, I'm a National Socialist, and I'm PROUD of it!

The rest of you idiots are just too busy sucking the nuts of the Jew to realize that Hitler was right and that he, the greatest white man that ever lived, should have been allowed to finish his work of killing all of the subhuman bastards.

Heil Hitler!

Basically, this is Godwin's law in action. He decided to call me a Nazi first, and when he could not deal with the counter comparison, he had to create fake posts pretending to be me, saying, that, it was really I that liked Hitler [the irony - did he really think this would hurt someone who actually was homocidally racist against Jews ? - LOL] - such an accusation instantly negates your credibility and destroys reasoned debate, because of "political correctness". Of-course, his advocacy of serial killer type vicious mass murder is still on his page. Evidently, he thinks his form of mass-murder is OK.

P.S. Bad Commie is not actually pro palestinian. I don't like killing anyone for any reason. Just stabbing them repeatedly is fine with me. Mostly with a pen. A really really sharp one. Shaped like a knife. STAB. Oops, Heh.
Anyway, the palestinians are basically modern day indians(like in the old west), and there are certainly better ways to deal with indians than indiscriminate mass murder.



Osama bin Texan Adventures:

After your great New York Times class reporting on the WMD's found Iraq ( http://www.jessicaswell.com/MT/archives/001151.html ), I was worried that you had given up covering the Iraq issue all together -- after all, not one mention of the Bush Administrations slow and constipated admissions that there never were WMD's in the first place.

Anyway, I'm glad to see you've chosen to return to the issue. If we establish the corrupt awarding of oil contracts as a basis for invasion, Texas could soon be under Reconstruction occupation once again !

Seriously though, after all the squealing and moaning and penny pinching and rider counting about that bus system, why no mention of the 87 Billion we got taken for in this war ? Oh wait, 87 Billion was just when they came back for the gums after stealing our teeth. The whole take was around 150 Billion. I don't think it cost Abe Lincoln that much to kick Texas's ass, so maybe it will be cheaper to liberate Texas. But hey, maybe that had something to do with the nickname "Honest".

Why is Jessica's Well so adamantly in favor of these huge government projects, and so refreshingly suspicious of the local small pork and graft ?

If inflation explodes to the point that your parents social security checks aren't enough and they have to move in with you when they are old, it won't be the fault of some bus scam. It will be because "Big Gov" W never saw a spending bill he couldn't sign.

I think Texans are pro-war because the war reminds them of a football game. They love the passion, the competition, the trash talking, etc. Well, it's time to stop putting our football tickets on the credit card, folks.
-posted by Bad Commie @ 10:09 PM