helping commies get to know knives
Monday, February 02, 2004
A coalition of intoxication-prone Naval personnel today
launched a "drunken sailor pride" offensive to combat the
scurrilous comparisons between their tame entertainment
habits, and the wanton spend-thrift orgy of fiscal felony
begat by the current Republican led Congress. Spokesperson
Ian Schitphazed call the media's caricature of Republican
misconduct to be wholly without precedence among our
valiant service men and women. "While we do have a
reputation to uphold, mind you that we are a very honest
family-oriented crowd. Why wez never drink more than we
can pay for out of *ourz* own pockets! But your average
Congressman, he acts like hez three sheets to the wind,
and on somebody else's dime, he's buying rounds for folks
that ain't born yet!!"
In a news conference, which happened to include a cameo
appearance of a leading Democrat, Senator Ted Kennedy
remarked, "Y'know, I am truly impressed. If I didn't knows
better, I'd swear these guys are all liberals from Massachusetts.
I have never before seen such fiscal irresponsibility in a
Republican. Of course, they never occupied the executive
and legislative branches at the same time, so who'da thunkit?
Maybe I should change my par . . . eh, never mind. Where's
the chowdda and the broads?"
Yes, that's right. Congress has decided that it wants to make laws that stop others from lying cheating and stealing, while it gets to engage in the selfsame IRU like behavior with absolute utter impunity.
Look, someone has to say it. Vicious republi-commies have infiltrated the State of Soviet Texas. In the process of their infiltration, they have tarnished the image of the Cowboy and the Texan. Crimes which deserve a SWIFT and IMMEDIATE hanging. "Get the rope", as Texans would say. Now, I've noticed that some of you weak minded fools babble on about how democrats are bigger commies - Oooh! Scary democra-commies are scary boogie-commies! All I have to say to that is: "Get a grip you weak minded fools, OR I WILL GET THE ROPE!". As soon as a communist (or anyone else) gets in power he starts talking about the evils of communism and how he is just so much better then the alternative. Well, the republicans control the House, the Senate, and the Presidency. Any dissatisfaction with federal government falls squarely on THEIR shoulders. The democra-commies are like homeless crack smoking monkeys. They have no bearing on federal government whatsoever. When a republi-commie walks into the room, the reporters should immediately beat the democra-commie-monkey and tell it to shut up. A real REPUBLICAN is in the room - a person who actually gets to make decisions. Do the reporters ask homeless crack addicts about their opinions on federal government? NO THEY DO NOT. Because homeless crack addicts are NOT IN POWER. EXACTLY LIKE THE DEMOCRA-COMMIES are not in power. They have zero relevance. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Furthermore, I notice that people say republi-commies are more fiscally conservative than democra-commies. What utter disgusting bullshit. Where does the penny pinching Jew live? In New York, that's where! And is this penny pinching Jew fiscally conservative? YES HE IS. AND HE VOTES FOR DEMOCRA-COMMIES. Furthermore, it is ludicrous to say that a republi-commie, who passes a health care bill that randomly distributes money to big businesses, for those same businesses to perform no specific task, is somehow more efficient at spending money to achieve a purpose (or more "fiscally conservative") than a democra-commie who gives the money to businesses, in return for those businesses providing accountable health care. Now, I'm not saying that I can foresee the future and what democra-commies will decide to do. But I am saying that people who support republi-commies are idiots.
Also, I have noticed that this is an election year. This means that both parties attempt to use the president as cover for the acts of congress - to be specific, not unnatural sexual acts, but congress' responsibility to pass laws and steal money.
I WILL NOT HAVE THE GREAT TEXAN AND COWBOY W sold down the river for the sake of either party!
It will not stand! No more scurrilous lies!
The nerve of these congressmen! Trying to use W as cover for their evil commie acts!
And the ULTIMATE responsibility rests with THE POPULACE. Which elected REPUBLICAN senators and house members.
So, for the sake of the great nation of Texas (and not the puny tiny state of Soviet Texas that is HALF the size of Alaska that exists today):
"We must invade Soviet Texas, kill its communist leaders and convert them to Capitalism. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war".
That's the way the commie spy Ann Coulter said it, and that's the way I'm saying it.
And that's the honest truth.
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