Bad Commie!

helping commies get to know knives

My favorite stabbings:
God, Mother Earth, W, Prayer, Poetry, Uptight Nervous Canadian Frostbacks, Debating,
Self Stabbing, Ann Coulter, The Ketchup Prince, Gay Marriage, Fantasy

Sunday, October 31, 2004

In this election, one candidate is thoughtful. One candidate is brave and strong. One candidate has never flip flopped. One candidate received excellent US military training and one candidate best knows the evil of muslims and their leaders and best hates their guts. One candidate loves freedom and knows its true source. One candidate fights the just fight against ethical midgets who pay off armies of degenerate goat fucking warlords in return for oil.

That is why I am endorsing Osama bin Laden.

The only moral, ethical, and rational choice.

I will be voting for Osama bin Laden this election. You should be too.

P.S. Please join me in praying for the death of all Christians and god's chief nazi, the spanish inquisitor - the pope. May he rot in hell for his horrific crimes of mass murder. No amount of mild talk and tolerance of rabid murdering dictator thugs is going to soften HIS image.

Saturday, October 23, 2004
Dear Limey assholes

Last week G2 launched Operation Clark County to help readers have a say in the American election by writing to undecided voters in the crucial state of Ohio. In the first three days, more than 11,000 people requested addresses. Here is some of the reaction to the project that we received from the US

Monday October 18, 2004
The Commie Guardian

Dear wonderful, loving friends from abroad,
We Ohioans are an ornery sort and don't take meddling well, even if it comes from people we admire and with their sincere goodwill. We are a fairly closed community overall. In my town of Springfield, I feel that there are some that consider people from the nearby cities of Columbus or Dayton, as "foreigners"- let alone someone from outside our country.
Springfield, Ohio

Dear soft and stabbable communists,
We money lovers are a determined sort and are really careful where we put our wallets, even if some republican thief is pretending to be a conservative. Overall I would say we like to keep our wallets closed so thieves can not get in. In my town of DeadCommiesTellNoTales, there are some that consider the asshole from the nearby town of crawford as a foreign communist invader - let alone someone from a pit of thieving degeneracy like British-Commie-Poodle-Puppy land.
DeadCommiesTellNoTales, Texas

Have you not noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies ... I don't give a rat's ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah - and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals.
Wading River, NY

Have you noticed that Texan non-communists don't give two stabs about what degenerate jew raping nazis pedophiles think of us? Each email someone gets from some elitist incontinent Poodle-Puppy telling us not to stab asshole communists is going to forward fire, you unground-up, uncrushed and unstabbed drug using hippies ... I don't give a rat's pert bottom if the commie I stab is YOU. I really don't. If you want to have a positive and hopeful commie lynching on your crappy little island full of shitting and pissing poodle-dogs with bad teeth, then maybe you should have given all your knives away to a bunch of nazis, unstabbed object. Oh, yeah - poodles should be fried for best taste.
DeadCommieRiver, TX

Right on! Just wanted to say thanks from California for your effort and concern. This IS a very important election ... There are so many people here in the States that care about the impact America has on the rest of the world. I am personally saddened for the loss of all innocent lives. The best statement Americans can make to the rest of the world is to not elect Bush for president. Thank you so much for getting involved in our world.

I am a commie. Stab me.

Consider this: stay out of American electoral politics. Unless you would like a company of US Navy Seals - Republican to a man - to descend upon the offices of the Guardian, bag the lot of you, and transport you to Guantanamo Bay, where you can share quarters with some lonely Taliban shepherd boys.
United States

Stab this deep into your brain: KEEP OUT. Unless you would like a couple of enraged unclubbed baby republicans

to flip-flop their way into your hovels, crush you with their cute little flippers and floppers, and vomit your remains onto Castro, who will promptly sell your remains to your relatives as the finest Cuban tobacco.
Land of Hot Buttered Commie Death

I am a student and life-long resident of Clark County, Ohio. I just wanted you to know that this is a wonderful idea you've initiated; people here love and respect the United Kingdom, especially the prime minister. I hope this campaign will be successful for your newspaper and for us voters.
Springfield, Ohio

I'm a traitor who swears allegiance to a foreign power.
Springfield, Ohio



Shame on you for using the people of Ohio like this. The US presidental election isn't just about foreign policy, it's about healthcare, taxes, education, transportation, natural resources and all manner of issues with little to no impact on the people of Britain.

We live in a globalised, interconnected world. If China shuts its borders to US imports, you better believe American companies, shareholders and workers are affected. Should US citizens therefore have a direct say in Chinese policies? No - Americans should demand that their own elected leaders address the issues with their Chinese counterparts. The British have a similar voice in US policies - through your own elected representatives who have any number of diplomatic, economic and military tools at their disposal. You vote for your leaders and we'll vote for ours. Your problem is with your leaders, not ours.
Washington DC

Too stupid and cowardly to stab the commie close to home, eh commie poodle-puppy? Think you can make fun of the commie that is safely far away from you? Why don't you do us all a favor and STAB THAT COMMIE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU INSTEAD OF TRYING TO STAB OURS. I CALLED DIBS ON OURS.
Commie Central

Real Americans aren't interested in your pansy-ass, tea-sipping opinions. If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it.
Texas, USA

Just So.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! What a wonderful idea! I am a US citizen who is scared to death that Bush and Klan will get back in. We need all the help we can get to ditch this bunch of maniacs.
United States

I am a french palestinian. Send explosives. I have more jews to kill.
Commie Strip

I just read a hilarious proposal to involve your readership in the upcoming US presidential election. At least, I'm hoping that it is genius satire. Nothing will do more to undermine the Democratic cause in Ohio than having patronising Brits wander around Clark County telling people how to vote. Just, for a second, imagine if the Washington Post sent folks from Ohio to do the same in Oxfordshire. I'm saying this as a Democrat, and as someone who has spent the last few years in the UK. That is, with all due respect. Please, please, be rational, and move slowly away from the self-defeating hubris.
United States

Please, foreign commies. We local commies are desperately trying to hold on to power. Stop trying to rape the peasants. We want to do that.

I enjoy reading your paper and agree with your politics, but this is really too much. Your plan, if carried out, will hurt the Bush opposition TERRIBLY. We cannot afford to have this associated with John Kerry or anyone else. It will be; the press is going in for a kill, days before the election.
United States

Stop trying to steal the money of our capitalists. We are going to steal it all for ourselves. Keep away Stupid King Arthurs.
Unstabbed Commie

Your idea is superb and frankly, we need a little help over here right now.

The nazis are here again. Send more white flags.

My dear, beloved Brits,
I understand the Guardian is sponsoring a service where British citizens write to Americans to advise them on how to vote. Thank heavens! I was adrift in a sea of confusion and you are my beacon of hope!

Feel free to respond to this email with your advice. Please keep in mind that I am something of an anglophile, so this is not confrontational. Please remember, too, that I am merely an American. That means I am not very bright. It means I have no culture or sense of history. It also means that I am barely literate, so please don't use big, fancy words.

Set me straight, folks!
Dayton, Ohio

Commie closer, Mr. Commie. Tell us about the wonders of communism. Please speak very loudly so we can find you.
Happy Forward Looking Stabber

Hey England, Scotland and Wales,
Mind your own business. We don't need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidental election. If it wasn't for America, you'd all be speaking German. And if America would have had a president, then, of the likes of Kerry, you'd all be goose-stepping around Buckingham Palace. YOU ARE NOT WANTED!! Whether you want to support either party. BUTT OUT!!!
United States

Please be advised that I have forwarded this to the CIA and FBI.
United States

As an American who is very anti-Bush, I applaud your letter-writing campaign. I have read some of the letters that you published, and while I agree with most of the content, I also believe they will not be persuasive. This is because they are too aggressive and, as stated on your website, you don't know anything about these voters. If they happen to be leaning toward Bush, these letters will not put them off.
New York


Harlan, Kentucky

We all enjoyed this at work. Cheers.
United States

Thank you for taking such an active interest in the elections here in America. I appreciate what the Guardian is doing. Your effort to reach out to "swing states" and make a difference is commendable. I hope that many of your readers will take your challenge to help make a change in Washington by contacting voters.
Clarke County, Georgia

Keep your noses out of our business. As I recall we kicked your asses out of our country back in 1776. We do not require input from losers and idiots on who we vote for in our own country. Fuck off and die asshole!!!!!
Knoxville, Iowa

Gentle folks at the Guardian,
In your plea to get your non-American readers to write to voters in Clark County, Iowa, you are correct that events in the US have had, and will have, effects on world events. For example, we have pulled your chestnuts out of the fire in two world wars that were occasioned by European diplomacy. Maybe you'd like a vote in which American president will oversee the next rescue. The next time you have elections in Great Britain, I shall endeavour to send names of your citizens to people in France, Iraq, India, the United Arab Emirates, Botswana, Pakistan, China and Argentina so that they may attempt to influence your election. It's only fair that everybody in the world should have a say in the selection of the prime minister.

Mind your own flipping business.
United States

Dear Guardian folks,
While I empathise with your plight, this attempt to influence voters by sending letters from foreigners will have a negative effect on your ultimate goal. You will cause people to empathise with the president, not the other way around. People will read these letters and say, "John Le who? Never heard of him, but who is he to tell me who to vote for?"

I am a registered voter in Clark County, Ohio, and am very much interested in hearing what our overseas friends have to say about our election. You are correct in assuming that this election in the US is the most important election in memory. The threat of terrorism is a very real threat, not just in our country, but all over the world. In this day and age there must be worldwide unity against these fanatical groups who just hate. Not just Americans, but all western civilisation.
United States

Thanks for running this initiative. It may be the only way I get to have an impact on the American election, despite the fact that I'm a registered American voter. See, I vote in New York, which is solidly Democratic. Due to the electoral college system, once a majority is secured in any state, subsequent votes don't really matter. Whether NY goes 51% or 99%, the impact on who actually wins is the same. So thanks for the opportunity to impact somebody else's vote, where it may really matter.
Amsterdam, Holland

Who in the hell do you think you are??? Well, I'll tell you, you're a bunch of meddling socialist pricks! Stay the hell out of our country and politics. And another thing, John Kerry is a worthless lying sack of crap so it doesn't surprise me that a socialist rag like yours would back him. I hope your cynical ploy blows up in your cowardly faces, you bunch of mealy-mouthed morons!
United States

I used to visit the UK every year. I love the history and culture of your country. But after I heard about your campaign to influence our elections, I've decided that neither myself, nor my family will ever visit again. I'm offended by your campaign and because of it, I'm remembering more of the negative aspects I've seen in the UK than the positive ones. Though I still love the castles!

Dear British friends,
I think you have an interesting idea to encourage international grassroots efforts, but I sincerely doubt most Springfielders are going to be influenced by letters from a country they probably can't even point to on a map. I wish you luck with your campaign, but I warn you that you're not likely to accomplish much.
Dayton, Ohio

You radical leftwingers are worse than the Taliban. I suggest you stand back and take a good hard look at yourselves.

PS: When do you propose to add Michael Moore to your staff of lunatics?
United States

I suggest that if a particular reader of the Guardian would like to vote in America - would really like to influence the American election, say - that reader should move to America, become a citizen of the United States. Everyone is welcome here. Even the readers of the Guardian. But if you don't wish to be an American, to live in Ohio, for instance, and participate in the American political process, that is too bad. Perhaps there is something wrong with you. Perhaps it is your teeth.
New York

Go back to sipping your tea and leave our people alone.

As an American who is afraid of the terrible ramifications if Bush is elected, I commend your efforts to try to get Britons involved. Although many Americans would be critical of British people "meddling" with our politics and elections, all the world will share in the disaster if Bush is re-elected. Many of us are very concerned. I teach young adults, most of whom have been very uninvolved in voting and politics. Many of them are going to vote. We need all the help we can get.
United States

As a US citizen, I want to advise you that you and anyone that participates in subverting the US presidential election can be criminally charged and perhaps even charged as spies.

Thank God above for you English! Just when I was beginning to despair at the thought of Bush being re-elected, you come along with a strategy to help us! Your invitation to your readership and rationale for offering it are provocative at the least, and laudable at best.
Springfield, Ohio

Saturday, October 16, 2004
Search Order
by Raúl Rivero

What are these gentlemen looking for
in my house?

What is this officer doing
reading the sheet of paper
on which I've written
the words "ambition," "lightness," and "brittle"?

What hint of conspiracy
speaks to him from the photo without a dedication
of my father in a guayabera (black tie)
in the fields of the National Capitol?

How does he interpret my certificates of divorce?

Where will his techniques of harassment lead him
when he reads the ten-line poems
and discovers the war wounds
of my great-grandfather?

Eight policemen
are examining the texts and drawings of my daughters,
and are infiltrating themselves into my emotional networks
and want to know where little Andrea sleeps
and what does her asthma have to do
with my carpets.

They want the code of a message from Zucu
in the upper part
of a cryptic text (here a light triumphal smile
of the comrade):
"Castles with music box. I won't let the boy
hang out with the boogeyman. Jennie."

A specialist in aporia came,
a literary critic with the rank of interim corporal
who examined at the point of a gun
the hills of poetry books.

Eight policemen
in my house
with a search order,
a clean operation,
a full victory
for the vanguard of the proletariat
who confiscated my Consul typewriter,
one hundred forty-two blank pages
and a sad and personal heap of papers
—the most perishable of the perishable
from this summer.

Commie Invasion of Wrong Beach
by Bad Commie

What are these gentlemen with guns and dark suits looking for
in my house?

What is this closet hitlersexual doing
reading the sheet of paper
on which I've written
the words "STAB" "ALL" and "COMMIES"?

What hint of conspiracy
speaks to him from the photo without a dedication
of a knife engaged in a stabbing motion and a commie (alive variety)
out behind the McDonalds dumpster?

How does he interpret my coroner's certificate for commies?

Where will his techniques of "argument by theft" lead him
when he reads the smiley faces and "keep out commies" signs
and discovers the indisputable proof
of Stalin being the best commie killer?

Eight virgin unstabbed specimens
are examining the texts and drawings of my secret plans,
and are infiltrating themselves into my emotional networks
and want to know where little Andrea, my favorite knife, sleeps
and what does her damascus patterns have to do
with my artistic stab wounds.

They want to know exactly what I meant
when I wrote
in an incomprehensible political tract (here a wry smirk):
"If it steals like a commie thief,
it gets the knife like a commie thief"

A specialist in stabbings came,
an art critic with the title of chief primary unstabbed target
who examined, at the point of a knife
the pile of dead commie corpses, as he lay gently on top if it.

Eight fresh presents
in my house
with a "find the money" order,
a clean operation,
a full victory
Stalin's 5 year plan fulfilled

They confiscated my money,
one hundred forty-two reasons
and happy and deeply personal heap of papers
- and then they perished like the filthy commies that they were,
this summer.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Communism was a "necessary evil" that God allowed to happen in the 20th century in order to create opportunities for good after its demise, Pope John Paul (news - web sites) says in his new book.

Or so says reuters, the home of palestinian mass murdering lying assholes called reporters.

Oh yeah, I got your opportunities right here! I know all about necessarily evil. IT GETS STABBED. Just like unnecessary evil and unnecessary good. AND necessary good too. While the evil pope satanist is drinking the blood of israeli jew-children with his palestinian comrades from reuters, I'm GOING TO BE STABBING EVIL, unlike that retarded satanist the pope, who never met a mass murderer he wanted to hurt. Who else doesn't want to hurt mass murderers like Sadam and Chiraq and nigger murderer Anan? That's right. SATAN. I know evil when I see it and the pope is the axis of evil. You could have figured that out from the fact that he is muslim. Certainly anyone who dares to waste my time teaching me all about communism is the vilest and most degenerate form of mass murderer. I don't want to learn about communism. I want to STAB ALL COMMIES. Good thing God is a drooling retarded mongoloid, so he won't notice me pissing on his homosexual slave boy the pope.

Maybe the retarded pope needs to read this (if he can even read):

Today, the communists' unlikely heirs, the Islamic extremists, also believe in the power of environment. Instead of economics, they claim to be concerned with theology. But their aim is identical - forcing everyone into an ideologic straitjacket. Bin Laden and the suicide bombers are their heroes. It is too soon to say what their crowning achievement will be, but 9/11 and the Russian school massacre are strong hints. Their beliefs result in brutal tyranny and mass murder.

How can I compare communists, who are militant atheists, with Islamic extremists, who are fanatically religious? True, they disagree on theology, but they agree on many other things:

They both believe that people's behavior is governed by their environment, which therefore must be rigidly controlled.

They both believe that people have no inalienable rights, and must be regimented by harsh rules that govern all aspects of human activity.

They both think people can't be trusted, and must be watched by a vast police apparatus.

They both attract unhappy, angry, alienated people. Remember John Walker Lindh and the Beltway snipers?

They both use schools to brainwash young people - Muslim schools in the case of radical Islam, universities in the case of Marxism.

They both dehumanize nonbelievers. Marxists call their opponents "capitalist pigs," "racists," "oppressors" and "Nazis." Islamic extremists call their opponents "infidels," "sons of pigs and monkeys" and "followers of Satan."

They both claim that nonbelievers should be converted by force, and those who resist should be persecuted without mercy - or brutally murdered.

They both believe their role is to create a perfect society, so they are justified in using any means, including mass murder.

They both hate Judeo-Christian civilization in general and capitalism in particular. The 9/11 terrorists could have destroyed a cathedral or a synagogue. Instead, they destroyed the World Trade Center. That tells a lot about their priorities.

They both refuse to take responsibility for their backward, poverty-stricken societies. Instead, they blame others for their own failures.

They both take the anger that should be aimed at their corrupt, incompetent rulers, and misdirect it at the West, and America in particular.

They both believe they are entitled to control the world, and they hate America for standing in their way.

To put it another way, suppose Stalin claimed to be religious. Suppose he took off his military cap and put a bath towel on his head. Would that have made him any less murderous and evil? Or suppose bin Laden took off his turban and put on a military cap. Would that change anything?

Yes indeed, the communism loving pope is a liberal.

In other news, the english are feeling left out in the immorality deprtment:

George Orwell, the great English "socialist patriot" (an expression which was not then a contradiction in terms) wrote in 1941, "England is perhaps the only great country whose intellectuals are ashamed of their own nationality. In left-wing circles it is always felt that there is something slightly disgraceful in being an Englishman and that it is a duty to snigger at everything from horse racing to suet pudding. It is a strange fact, but it is unquestionably true that almost any English intellectual would feel more ashamed of standing to attention during God Save the King than of stealing from the poor box."

These retarded British commie puppy poodles sounds just like the American Wrong. Maybe we should sent them back to france, where all such homosexuals came from. England can be given back to the scotch who are its rightful owners.

Here is swearing jesus to express my thanks to commies:

Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Imagine if you discovered that you could pay your Visa bill by scrawling "I O U $75" with a Sharpie on a Post-It and mailing it in. At the end of a 50-year period, you could then argue that your credit debt was at a healthy level of zero, notwithstanding a coincidental "Post-It Note imbalance" of $275,000.00. Or, rather, you couldn't -- since you don't operate a first-world nation that hundreds of millions of people trust with their very lives, you'd simply be jailed on charges of Stupid.

More fascinating terrorism here: This guy clearly needs to be arrested and executed for going faster than 60 logical conclusions per hour. So is all of the current debt an artifact of the useless and criminal great society garbage? Probably. FDR was a retarded commie crapping cockroach after all.

I have been busy entertaining myself by watching the movie "High Noon" instead of the meat grinding of the Breck girl in the debates. Here is an excellent movie review of the communist propaganda western "High Noon" by a finn:

by - jfkettunen (Wed Jul 28 08:40:13) Ignore this User | Report Abuse

With all your commie paranoia, are you sure the water you're drinking is not polluted by the communists, and who knows, maybe the commies are watching you from their base on the Red Planet? And safety belts, isn't that definitely a rotten communist plot? And isn't it suspicious how people turn red when they blush?
Don't get me wrong, I hate communism, as an ideology it's far worse than nazism or anything I can think of; I live in Finland and we've had to fight the Russians off our soil a couple of times, and I know what communism means - it was just across the border for over 70 years. I simply find the conservative American paranoia so amusing, whenever someone acts suspiciously then he must be a bloody Commie, whenever someone stands for social welfare then he's a Commie too. Commie this, commie that. For you it's a vague, undefined enemy that can be seen everywhere lurking in the shadows. You have such funny ideas about communism. What exactly makes High Noon a communist movie? Is it communist because there's no John Wayne shooting down the Indians, or is it communist because the people in town are not perfect examples of the American ideals? The McCarthy red scare was nothing but a shameful witch hunt in a country that so endorses the freedom of speech, freedom of thoughts and democratic values. McCarthy was no better than the Soviet KGB inquisition, accuse them until they confess and then send them to exile.
John Wayne was a great actor, and Rio Bravo is a great western, but so is High Noon. Labeling it communist is ludicrous, not to mention irrelevant.

In other entertaining news, debt collection in Boston is now illegal:

BOSTON - State banking regulators have ordered an Ohio-based company to stop trying to collect debts in Massachusetts because of questions about the firm's practices and financial stability.
Cadle also denied that the company had used any hardball tactics in the state, saying it was "very passive" and pursued debts only over the phone.
Schlichtmann alleged the company had used hardball tactics to try to collect debts, harassing and abusing people by making false reports to ruin their credit, calling their neighbors, talking to children about their parents' debts, threatening to take people's homes, and taking people to court.

Schlichtmann himself battled the company for years as the company tried to collect debts from him even after he had declared bankruptcy.

Schlichtmann had gone bankrupt while fighting an environmental case in Woburn. His battle was documented in the book "A Civil Action" and a movie of the same name.

I think I'm going to go steal from a commie Bostoner before it steals from me.

In other news it turns out that Bill Burkett, of Dan Rather Circle Jerk fame, is an awesome writer. Check this out:

As I said, a UN vote would not stop GW Bush from attacking Iraq. Nor will anything else. And weapons of mass destruction will be discovered in great quantities; but the entire affair will stink to high heavens because it will be as staged as the White House press conference you just viewed.

The human death toll will publicly not be mentioned, yet in truth, it will far exceed 120,000. Our vast size and force will quickly break the back of any Iraqi resistance, yet we will not break their spirit. This is a society which has learned to live in troubled politics. They will go about their business while seething inside. There will be small uprisings, but they will quickly be crushed. The emotion and anger that we will have built will spill over into other countries and meld like an alloy with other problem areas of the Middle East, becoming a deeper seated problem. We will have insured that America's dynasty is nearing an end.

While GW Bush will be cast as a conquering hero by his political team and accepted by the population as such, history will treat him as Napoleonic. Bush will reach a new lofty level of acceptance by first fear and then staged triumph. Those who waited too long to gain their voice will lose their voice again.

America will over pledge economically in order to establish this new footprint; but the economic worth will not go to offset our fiscal investment, or to the Iraqi people. Iraq will be stripped by the vanquishers; the major corporations, who will then control not only the assets, but the cash flow. Their names will be Mobil, Exxon, Halliburton and the likes.

Our homeland warnings will again revert to 'fusia' a color only associated with confusion, and cosmetic image.

And America will again be asked to bow at the feet of this small man with big ideas.

Lost within a short time will be the name Saddam; for like Osama, he was never the purpose of this campaign. Never in the history of the world has a great society survived whenever its focus was allowed to magnetize to its most powerful. And here we will clearly have in view that there is little value accorded to the innocent 3-year-old Iraqi girl who will today be playing in the streets, or the 19-year-old soldier who will launch the missile that will kill her.

Heh! That's a good stabber!

Here is more on the breck girl john edwards and his exaggerated licking of the republican bananas:

What happened, of course, is that all the good reformists held their noses and voted for Edwards to keep Duke out of the governor's mansion. A popular bumper sticker at the time read: VOTE FOR THE CROOK, IT'S IMPORTANT.






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