The proper burning and stabbing of witches.

First, someone must fall sick and die. Preferably some git you don't like. Ideally, you don't have to wait for them to die, but can help them out like the KKKlintons helped Vince and Teddy helped the drowner.

Then you have to go consult the most retarded person you can find a - a local fortuneteller, a nyt journalist or a CBS producer. In other words a priest of the democratic hard core religious fascists.

After the git dies you pretend that you are unhappy. Now its time for the fun part!

Get some idiot from the global village to start yapping about responsibility. Some fascist and thief is sure to want to use this opportunity to push it's retarded agenda. So, as soon as you get the fucker ranting, strategically mention that someone must be held responsible. Do this well enough, and you can force the brainless ranting to focus on finding a victim to blame for your murder. Be sure to refer liberally to ancestral spirits like the communist slave raping framers of the constitution, or some sadistic pervert who liked shocking things like Ben Franklin. People love to worship dead white guys! Be sure to put words in the mouths of the zombie ancestral spirit corpses. Now, for the source of all evil! Find a dead chicken and smear the fall guy with it. After he is covered in chicken blood, make him take fair tests like:

Did the chicken die with its legs pointing up? If so you are a witch.
Does the blood make you red colored? If so you are a witch.
Are you scared? If so you are a witch.

You get the idea.

After the fall guy is mathematically proven guilty beyond all shadow of a doubt, with numerous fair tests (sort of like democrats demanding recounts), watch the witch suffer and cackle gleefully as you see tears of ultimate sadness. You can even lick the tears from the witch's face.

And as everyone knows, the process worked here. The process clearly identified a guilty person and was a just and fair process because now we get to torture the witch.

With any luck, even the idiot you have selected to take responsibility for your crime will be convinced she is guilty - after all the chicken DID die with its legs up. Watch the son of the witch proclaim that he is sure of her guilt!

STAB ALL WITCH-COMMIES!
-posted by Bad Commie @ 7:46 PM